Thought-process to make right and fruitful decision in life

The marginal difference between ‘should’ and ‘must’ guides you along the path of what is right or wrong – be it in your search for a partner, career, or your efforts to stay true to yourself.

Recently a 23-year-old Kerala boy Gokul Sreedhar shared a very encouraging social media post, congratulating his mother on her second marriage, and warning people not to look at her with hatred or contempt – adding cheekily that even if they did so, he couldn’t care less. The post went viral as people appreciated Gokul’s break away from traditional, stunted thinking and mores.

In his post written in Malayalam, Gokul talks about his mother, Mini, who stayed on in an abusive marriage for his sake, walking out with him only when he was in the tenth class. It was then that Gokul decided his mother would still fulfill her dreams and potential by marrying again some day. She did. And with much trepidation, Gokul shared his delight on social media, revealing a very progressive outlook even as he warned off diehard regressive, orthodox onlookers. “I was worried that my close friends or relatives would talk ill of my mother for her decision… I thought I need not keep this a secret.”

I wonder what gave Gokul the gumption needed for such progressive thinking and the strength to fly against societal approval. What convinced him he was right or told him he needed to stick his neck out to support his mother in her search for happiness – in fact in being the one to push her on to this path? What guides any of us when we decide to take action that sails against the wind?

So often we don’t know what is the right thing to do. It is when you are not sure of the stand to be taken that you start veering towards the stand that you think should be taken. And this is where you become a victim of prejudice and established, well-entrenched stereotypes and beliefs. It is easier to follow the trodden path rather than build one of your own.

What are the factors that help one take the right stance? And what is “right stance” anyway? The right stance for you, for your loved ones, or the stance that is acceptable by all because it falls in line with tried and tested practices? Who decides? How did Gokul know that he was right in insisting his mother got another chance at life? How is he sure this time round it is the right choice for her and she will be happy? The truth is that he doesn’t know any of that, and that is what makes his choice a truly brave one. It is the outcome of his love for his mother, his intelligence and emotional maturity, his determination, and of course, oodles of faith that the Universe will ensure justice.

None of us can ever be sure we are making the right choices – for career, love, marriage, our dreams and desires, or for our loved ones. All we can do is go into a choice with sincere love, empathy, understanding of the situation and our own selves, trust our instincts and then go in with a prayer and lots of faith. Though we cannot ever be certain we are right, we can look out for some indicators to assure us we are doing our best and need not suffer regrets later.

You are doing the right thing if – You are not making any uncomfortable compromise or betraying your own self.

The decision is yours and has not been taken with a view to please another or to follow the herd.

  • You were not guided by what you ‘should’ do, but more by what you ‘must’ do.
  • You have made your decision with hope and faith, and not out of fear.
  • Your heart knows that you have made the only choice worth making.
  • You are self-confident and recognise your value.

Those of us who are connected to our inner selves are more likely to select the ‘right’ path. It is important to believe in yourself, learn ways to stay relaxed and focused, and to accept change. Be alert to what makes you uncomfortable or calls to question your basic values. At such times, question your actions and be willing to make changes with positivity and faith, no matter if such a choice pitches you against the world.

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