Do this and your children will obey anything you expect

They will not improve unless you show fear to your children.

Is the notion what we or rather our entire society have made concrete in our minds? Perhaps all of these things have been rooted in our childhood. Because we are showing children the fear of what they are afraid of. While the children grow up, side-effects of those experiences emerge.

The first thing that is easy to start in the childhood is to show the fear of darkness. There are many kinds of fears that 'there is darkness', 'there is a ghost in the darkness', someone sitting on the cross will take you. Generally, all people show fear of police and the doctors. Next level of fear is the fear of God who will punish for anything done wrong.
Gradually, one day, the children know the truth and then they are not afraid of these things. The next chapter of fear begins.

In schools, punishment is a must thing to discipline children. Its types change, though nowadays we don’t see physical punishments. 

At such a time, the question arises that in the child’s world, are we really their friends, helper, parents, teachers, or the only officials? Do you always have to present someone else's fear, like some usual rules that big people should talk to children with loud voice, anger, big eyes, and threats? You think children will not listen to you unless you say or behave like that?

If the children do not have the fear of being punished, the kids will get spoiled and will not listen to anyone, are you going to take this thought for granted?
If you think that children do not improve without punishment, be it at home, school, college, then why we see youth as disciplined in few countries? Are they different from us?
We are happy to tell each other how much cleanliness is observed in others homes or cities or countries; but why cannot we do these things at ours places? The root of all this
lies in the behaviors which is - children are told not to run your own head, and fearfully do what I say to you!

Nobody denies the importance of discipline. Discipline is expected to be followed everywhere. All of us should follow it certainly. Unless there is punishment for it, we do not want to follow it, whatever is the importance of that disciplinary rule then be. As an example, until the last date comes, we do not get willingness to pay income tax. As there is a police standing, we stop vehicles at the zebra crossing at the traffic signal. However, if you do not have a police near the next signal, then your vehicle goes straight ahead.

At such times there is no hesitation in the mind. As long as there is no punishment and no penalties, we do not follow the rules. Because of this, breaking the rules keeps on going until there is someone stopping us fearfully.

Children should not do it because of fear of others. They themselves should like and get the importance of the discipline. They should like the cleanliness, so they will keep their places clean, no delays in work knowingly, likewise many things in life, they will follow because of the goodness in it.

We try to forcefully make the children obey us, usually in anger, but this does not create self-discipline, but yes – it creates distance in minds. Parents are worried about how many marks in the test are obtained; but mental, emotional and intellectual development should be looked after from the childhood itself. If you can make conversation with your children getting to the emotional level of your child, that too at right time and with least words, with patience, then definitely there is lot of scope of improvement.

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